I try to be very transparent on my page, where I tend to focus on unschooling, social justice parenting, healing from childhood trauma and child liberation. I thought it would be nice to share some personal things about myself that don’t always make it to Instagram! So here we go.
ONE: I’m a very proud Ex-Mormon
This comes up every once in a while, but whenever I post about it there are always hundreds of messages of surprise. My mother grew up Mormon and my father was converted in a small town in Canada at the age of 18. They met while serving their church service missions in France and met up again at BYU (The Mormon University in Utah) and got married almost immediately. They raised all 4 of us kids in the church, where all but one of us has escaped. And I use the word escaped instead of left very deliberately. If you’ve ever been raised in a highly controlling religion, you’ll understand. Being raised Mormon was supposed to teach me all about God’s love, His plan for us, how to follow Christ, etc. However, I learned shame, guilt, not to trust my own voice, how to judge others and act morally superior, etc. If you're a survivor of religious trauma, you're family now and I've got you.
TWO: I'm a wanderlust soul
I love traveling! I love experiencing new things, visiting new places and meeting new people. I once majored in Anthropology and have always loved learning about how other people live around the world. That love of travel has continued into my family life as we often embrace long term travel and worldschooling for part of the year. Watching my kids learn flexibility and resilience, develop even greater understanding and empathy for diverse cultures around the world, while we nurture even deeper connections with each other as a family has been the most fulfilling experience.
THREE: My first child was placed for adoption
Once a year, on Birth Mother’s Day, I talk about this story. When I was Mormon and living in Utah, I fell into a charming and intoxicating relationship that quickly turned toxic and later, abusive. During this time, after promises of a new life and family together, I was pregnant and fortunately escaped that relationship and moved home. I was informed by my parents and church leaders my only option was placing my baby for adoption to another Mormon family who was more righteous than me so I could save my soul from Hell and give him a better life than the one he would have with me. For a while, this belief system worked and I thought God had blessed me with this solution. Over a decade later, multiple PTSD episodes with the birth’s of my own children, the traumatic and tumultuous relationship with the adoptive couple, hundreds of hours of therapy, I look back on this experience in a completely different light.
FOUR: I have ADHD, depression, anxiety and cptsd
It’s a lot, right? So much of my personality and parts of myself come from trauma and it’s really hard to distinguish where my disorders and neurodivergence ends and my innermost self begins. I'm always discovering new symptoms and traits, trying to decide what they're from and how to work with them. I like to differentiate something here. ADHD is something that makes me who I am, and it's not something I want to get rid of. Whereas all the other ones can go to hell. They hinder who I am and have no business running my life.
FIVE: I have 8 jobs
I mean, did you expect anything else? It’s completely unsustainable, but it’s happening. Maybe the story of my life. These are all seasonal, freelance, entrepreneurial or otherwise flexible and casual. I’ve never been built to handle a 9-5, an office or a boss. I have, mostly out of necessity, but also because everyone else does and it’s what’s normal so we have to right? But it was always detrimental to my wellbeing and never felt right. Over the past long while, I’ve crafted jobs for myself. I’ve talked people into hiring me, I’ve created work for myself, I’ve self-taught myself whatever I needed to. And this doesn’t work for everyone, but I can’t imagine it any other way.
We have two Airbnb microsuites in the basement of our home, and I manage those from reviews and reservations to scheduling cleaners, and doing maintenance. I tutor French for elementary school kids, which is incredibly painful because I just want to release them all out into the wild instead. I do social media management for a few local businesses, which I 100% taught myself and have developed these skills over time. I’m a photographer, which feels wild to say out loud, because I always feel underqualified. I nanny part-time for local friends and family, who need childcare during the week. I work behind the scenes of my husband’s financial planning business, doing social media and marketing, as well as assistant work. I started my own homeschooling business where I offer coaching, courses, memberships and more. I started renting out my home to photographers, weddings, and wellness retreats and manage that business as well.
SIX: I’m a Sagittarius
Everything you will ever read about a Sagittarius is 100% accurate for me.
Philosophical? Yes. Passionate? Of course.
Love to feel free and resist rules, regulations, constraints and schedules, with our greatest fear being trapped or restricted in any way? Um, yep.
“They just like doing what they do, when they wanna do it”. Who doesn’t?
Sags are born travellers, adventurers, explorers, and free spirits. We’re fun loving and ambitious, and tend to be really talented? That’s what I hear.
Let’s look at weaknesses.
Impatient and need instant results? Guilty.
We act unplanned which leads to mismanagement. Haha, absolutely.
Commitment issues and impulsiveness? Um yeah.
Inclination to get cuahgt up in a hundred minor tasks without achieving meaningful headway on any of them? Um, wow. So rude.
All in all, I love being a Sagittarius and you can take all of me or none of me, and I’m good with either.
SEVEN: I love hosting…and I’m painfully shy
In another life, I could probably have been an event planner. I love events, parties, celebrations. I love planning, making things happen, networking, seeing visions come to life and making people happy. I do not, however, like dealing with people being upset or stressed, which would make me a terrible person to do that job. I plan events for every niece and nephew’s birthday, graduation, job promotion, anything. But do you know what I do? I sit in my room, lol. Or I watch from the sidelines. I’m 100% a behind the scenes person. I hate being center of attention, but I have to have people over. I would rather be in the kitchen preparing and serving, and setting up games, than to be sitting on the couch talking to people. I invite people over all the time, and then just casually slip out without anyone noticing. I need all the stimulation and dopamine, then I get overwhelmed and my social battery runs out. I think most people who know me would say I’m really lively and outgoing, but the people who really know me, understand I’m equally introverted and need to be left alone.
EIGHT: I'm musical, but only by ear
I can't read music to save my life. I struggle with math, fractions, beat and timing. But I can listen to something and match it perfectly with my voice, piano, flute, etc. I could immediately play my college roommates harp just from what I know about playing piano. Anyway, not sure how cool that is, but it's completely auditory. Unfortunately, all of my kids are (painfully) musical. They LOVE it, but they can't find a tune to save their life. Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle, any of it. It's amazing.
NINE: I grew up really poor
My family was on food stamps for the first part of my childhood. My mom would use juice instead of formula, because it was cheaper and I don't have the science to prove it, but the younger two siblings who got formula are much bigger than my older brother and I. I would get bullied for my BO because we couldn't afford deodorant, my skin because I could only afford hand soap to wash my face, and everything else you can think of. I had 2 outfits for all of Grade 7 and 8 that were on constant rotation and we couldn't afford to do laundry frequently, so they smelled...a lot. We moved 12 times by the time I was 10 to save $25 a month on rent. I remember one house waving flying ants off my face to be able to sleep at night. I don't say this to garner any empathy, just an aspect of my life I don't talk about very often.
TEN: I say yes to almost anything
I don't mean I don't have boundaries (I mean, I do struggle still). I mean I will try surfing, learn to ride a motorbike, go on a hike with a new friend, swim naked in a waterfall, whatever. It was probably because I grew up in an abusive home, got bullied relentlessly and had no friends, that I this like FOMO, need to experience everything about life energy to make up for lost time. I just love adventures and memories and stimulation (the right amount) to keep me feeling alive. I don't stop moving and you'll almost always find me out in nature getting up to something. I make movies with my nieces and nephews, I'm always planning parties and heading out on camping trips. I definitely have a yolo vibe side to myself that I don't necessarily share online.
That's a quick peek into my life! Looking forward to sharing more with you.
Adrienne xx