Oof, now THIS is a question!

Before I answer this, I need to remind everyone that I have ADHD, depression and anxiety, I grew up in a fundamentalist Mormon environment with a lawyer father and a people pleasing mother, who fully embraced the notion that productivity is everything. I'm recovering from all of these things. I also work 7-8 jobs to earn my own income and afford an Unschooling lifestyle.

Ok, now that we've got that out of the way...

I'll skip talking about my free time with my kids at home. I get a lot of free time even though we're Unschooling. Most people imagine that I never get a break. But honestly, my kids get wrapped up in reading, playing or projects and I can do lots at home. Exercise workouts, chores, working, reading and enjoying a tea. Lots of things I would do in my free time anyway.

And my biggest program is that I actually enjoy things that people see as work. I'll organize the toy room, declutter, reset and clean my room, lift weights, sort out the garage. I find these so fulfilling. Which I realize needs unpacking (pun intended), but if it makes me feel good and I don't resent doing it, then why not?

But if we're talking about true interrupted free time to do whatever I want, forced outside of responsibilities or a space where I could do something useful, here's what I love.

I absolutely love being outside.

This is the first thing I'll make time to do. You'll often find me paddle boarding, hiking, sitting at the beach with a book, getting a forest walk in. I find nature to be incredible grounding. It's the perfect amount of stimulation for my ADHD, not too much or too little. I don't just sit, though. I can't. It's so painful. I need a podcast or like a purpose (to reach a waterfall or a mountain view), or something. It's actually a great space that forces me to relax. I can't do chores, I can't see things that need to be done all around me. (This is actually the same with a sauna, and it's even better because I can't take my phone in!) Nature is an inspiring space to be and it really regulates my nervous system. So that's always a first choice. 

Connecting with my girlfriends.

I'm very purposeful about my friendships. They are so important to me and I make sure to make time for those relationships that give me life. So grabbing a cup of tea, getting in a brisk walk or just enjoying a lovely conversation in a cozy spot is a weekly necessity. These are almost exclusively one-on-one. I need to be able to have deep, unlimited conversations and generally can't handle large group settings. These interactions help me sit and focus on things other than my to do list. It gets me to open up and share things about what's going on for me. And it fills my need to be there for people I love.

Creating art.

I almost always have to be creating something. Apart from blogging, podcasting and creating content, I love creating with my hands. But I never stick to anything. So I'll get into painting, then knitting, then macrame, then multimedia work, then construction. I'll paint a wall mural, build a coffee table for the office, or get into my photography. It's never ending and I'll never perfect any of those, but I'll always be creating in some capacity. 

Learning. 

I realize this sounds like work and not free time stuff, but I'll often close loops in my brain by finally researching the question about something I've had stuck in my head. Watching a documentary, googling something, whatever it is. I'm insatiable and could spend forever microdosing Wikipedia. It actually makes something like watching a casual show or reading a fictional book really impossible, because I'll pause and start getting answers for something that came up and 3 hours later I've still only read one paragraph or gotten 3 minutes into a movie.

Dissociating. 

Ok so this isn't the healthiest hobby. It's just something I honestly do when I have some free time. But having ADHD, trauma and other things, dissociating actually helps shut my brain off. Binge watching a light comedy shuts off my brain. This often comes as a crash and burn after I've done too much. I'm not advocating for this, I simply like being transparent about what life is like for me.

On a final note, I just wanted to say I don't look to spend a lot of time alone. My entire childhood was alone and I definitely enjoy lots of time around my kids for a variety of reasons. And I don't mean they're glued to me, I just mean being in their same vicinity isn't draining to me. And I have the ability to do lots of typical free time with them around, so it's not super rare. That's our baseline normal and it works for me. 

I just realized this is totally not the blog post that the title implies, but there it is. I just start writing and enjoy what comes out.

Adrienne xx